CALCULATED LOVE

Most of us have likely all experienced what I call a Calculated Love, at some point in time in our life.

We likely have loved others this way, and we ourselves have been loved this way too.

It’s “figured”, pun intended, that if I do this, then I will get that. It’s all Calculated!

If I do what pleases, then I will get good compensation.

If I do what displeases, then I will get bad compensation.

Good for good. Bad for bad. This all seems pretty simple and familiar, right?

But where did this kind of mentality come from? When did it start?

Most likely it came when we were little children.

As children, we learned that when we behaved well, we received praise.

Our good behavior earned us a gold star, special recognition, a treat, allowance, or some other good compensation.

In our childlike minds, we calculated that good behavior was how we get things.

We determined that good behaviors payment was expressed in prizes and praises. And praise meant we were loved.

In other words If I do good, you/her/she/he/they/them/and Him, will all love me.

You see, It’s All Calculated! Deeds = Love

But when I didn’t behave well, I disappointed those who normally would have been in my corner. As a result, I became less lovable to them because I had disappointed them. It too is Calculated, No Deeds = No Love

Perhaps they were mad at me, wanted me out, would cut me off and never have anything to do with me again.

Unfortunately, many adults still have the same mindset on this, as they did when they were a child. Someone doesn’t love me because I did bad.

That type of love is based solely upon performance.

It’s called Performance Love. Again, where did this mindset come from?

It wasn’t our parents; we can’t blame them for this.

We did this to ourselves through how we interpreted what it meant to be loved.

We have transferred this same interpretation of love, over in to how we view God’s love for us.

We believe that when we do something that he disapproves of, we are punished. Possibly even damned to hell, or at the very least stricken with some horrible tragedy or disease.

He was bad so God gave him cancer. She was cruel that’s why she died like she did.

We think God has a calculated love, so we attempt to barter with him.

Lord if you do this for me, then I’ll change my behavior and do that for you.

Obviously, I must have done something wrong, that’s why this happened.

That’s just not how God works. That’s just not how God loves.

We are convinced, largely by ourselves, as well as words from others, that we are one big, huge disappointment to God, and this is why he couldn’t possibly love us.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

News flash! Our math is off. This just doesn’t add up.

God doesn’t have to wait around for us to mess up. We do it at least once every day. No one would be left on the planet if God had a Calculating Love for us.

Humanity would have been wiped out long ago.

It is recorded only once that God got angry with humanity, then he repented immediately after doing so. Yes, God repented.

Why? Because he is a Loving and Forgiving God.

God does not have a calculated love for us. But he does have an, it doesn’t matter what you do, or don’t do, love for us all.

Prior to experiencing Gods love we all have known a calculated performance-based love.

Whether in a relationship with someone, at work, at church, or in our own family.

Then a day came when you knew that you were clearly in the wrong. You messed up royally.

You were waiting on Gods Hammer, and yet you got Gods Heart.

He just loved you and graced you right through that situation.

Why? Because His love is not Calculated. It’s Unconditional.

Nothing or No one can ever make him stop loving us and Nothing ever has!

God says that he will cast our sins as far away from us and him as the East is from the West.

God does not give us what we deserve, thank goodness. He gives us his best. He gives us his unearned love.

My Faith Manual states it this way.

“I’ve never quit loving you, and never will. Expect love, love, love, and more love!”                                                                        Jeremiah 31:3

We must receive Gods Unconditional love for us today and quit trying to earn it.

This is a Thompson Truth